When was the last time you played a love language game and got to know your partner?
Most of us will remember the classic game “Twenty Questions.” It used to be an age-old favorite in the pre-smartphone era. For those who don’t remember, or never had the chance to play, you have 20 questions to drill down and identify something the other person is thinking about very similar to the love language game.
It was a chance to use your love language game questions to get to know the other person and how their thought process works. It was silly at times, but many took great pride in being able to work out someone’s inner thoughts in as few questions as possible.
We often take the time to play love language games like this earlier on in relationships. In the early glow of a new relationship, we hang on to our prospective partner’s every word as we look for signs of compatibility and to know if the relationship will be successful.
Sadly, as time moves on we grow comfortable and assume we’ve learned all there is to know about each other. We stop asking questions, eventually abandoning “getting to know you” altogether.
However, as we age and the years go by, we can’t help but change little by little. We take in new information, learn new things, and evolve as a person. Yes, you probably know your partner better than most, but that doesn’t mean you know every single detail. Many are surprised to discover they still have little facts or stories they’ve never heard their partner tell.
Love Language Game Makes Your Partner Feel Loved, Valued, and Appreciated.
Ideally, in our relationships, we should never stop learning about one another. What makes us tick, what we value, and what we aspire to be. Without taking the time to get to know our partners all over again, judgment or assumptions can creep in to obscure our view of who they really are.
We must take time to actively engage our partner and ourselves to stop this from happening. From time to time we need to stop and ask questions again. Yes, you’ve probably asked them before, but maybe the answer’s changed or you’ll hear a new detail you haven’t heard before.
To make it more fun, and take some of the pressure off (if you’re feeling rusty), you can always revert back to the beginning when you’d play the love language game and ask more questions. At your next date night, dinner, or anytime you have some quality time alone with your partner, why not revisit “Twenty Questions?”
But instead of trying to guess a random thought your partner is having, you can use the love language game to ask more adult, focused questions designed to help you get to know them on a deeper level.
Love Language Game Makes You Aspire To Be Appreciative, Patient, Considerate, and Understanding
Though this is a love language game, please keep a couple of things in mind. Please, treat their responses with respect and without judgment. If we dismiss or argue with their dreams, insights, and aspirations, they will close off sharing these parts of themselves with you. Give your partner the space to express themselves, remembering that just because they’ve shared a dream doesn’t mean they actually want to act on it.
Love Language Game: Play 20 Questions to Get to Know Your Partner Better
Without further adieu, here are the love language game twenty questions to ask your partner. For a fun twist, you can also test out how you think your partner might answer each question by filling in your own answers first and then comparing after the game!
- If you could change a single thing about your life, what would it be and why would you change this particular thing?
- On a normal day, what occupies most of your thoughts?
- If you were writing a song about your life, what would the style of music be?
- What brings you the most pleasure in life – pastimes, hobbies, work, purchases, etc?
- What has been your greatest accomplishment in your life and who helped make that possible?
- When do you feel the most comfortable/happiest/energized?
- What specific things do you most look forward to each day and in your life?
- If you had access to a genie, what three wishes would you make?
- What would you most like to change today and why?
- What is your biggest regret in life and would you change it if you could? Is it too late to change it?
- What is your ideal romantic date or excursion?
- What is holding you back from imagining or pursuing a big dream?
- What do you appreciate most about our relationship and why do these things stand out for you?
- What makes you feel the most afraid and insecure about yourself and your life?
- What hobby or activity would you most like to try that you haven’t, and what’s stopped you from starting?
- What country would you most like to visit and why?
- What family member had the biggest influence on your life?
- What is something your grandparents or parents did that you most wish you could have taken the time to learn from them?
- What are your favorite things to spend money on?
- Who are you most envious of and why?
These Twenty Questions love language game should help you get started during your next conversation. Some are more lighthearted and others could be a bit rawer, but all should help you learn more about your partner.
If it’s been a while since you’ve done something like this, start slow and easy. There’s no point diving into something that could be loaded, like talking about finances. Ease in and build momentum for your future. But at the same time, as you move forward in your relationship, do not avoid difficult conversations. Your goal is true knowledge of your partner and that comes through tough conversations as well.
If you’re struggling with any of these love language game questions and feel like you need a third party to help facilitate your conversation, please reach out to us today. We have practitioners in your area who can help you rekindle your relationship spark and find that youthful curiosity about your partner.